Thursday, April 10, 2014

Metamorphosis

Does anybody else do their best thinking in the shower? I swear it's not just me that solves problems and brainstorms solutions and gets crazy awesome ideas while the water is pouring down from that heavenly shower head. 

Tonight I got into the shower late - around 12:30am - and started thinking about time management and my work habits after a long day (yes, even those of us who work from home have long work days). See, I have a consulting company in which I write creative and business copy, along with providing other services like customer inbox support and social media content creation and management. I work for some incredible, incredible people (and companies) and I truly feel like I'm doing what I LOVE! But, I'm also a full time university student taking much too long to complete my degree, so the time management skill is something I'll admit I severely lack.
This can be a problem and it stresses me out; I know I can do the work, and I know I can do it well, but why am I not DOING IT?!?
We've all been there.
It was during my shower that I started thinking about it: how can I better manage my time? Just one simple thought that inspired a veritable brain stew of juicy personal insights and, ultimately, a metamorphosis. 

So... what's the big deal? Well, I have grown up with the notion that I was a doormat - a person that could not do anything right and was basically walked on by everyone. I was bullied... a lot. I was taunted and teased and I put on the victim hat and wore it very convincingly... I ALLOWED myself to be walked all over by playing the part of what we'll call a "lost girl". I lied to make myself look better and build myself up, and purposely put myself in situations that were just not a good place to be. I did it to myself but I don't regret it... not one bit. Sure, I made SO many mistakes, but learning, growing, and moving on from who I used to be shaped who I am today. I shed that skin and, now, I kinda like me. I kinda like me a lot. 

So, what does this have to do with time management? Well, I realized that my aversion to DOING stemmed from my attitude about myself: the doormat mentality. I will apologize and take on burdens that either are not mine to take on, or simply do not exist. I tend to make a big deal out of nothing and then beat myself to a pulp for doing something wrong or going at a pace that I think that others probably think is too slowly. This makes me not even want to do anything (and may explain why I sleep so much - it's not cause I'm tired, it's cause I'm a professional avoider! I kid, I kid) and, thus, has caused me to have poor time management skills. But this is NOT an excuse... nooo sir. This is an epiphany - a revelation if you will. This may seem like something totally obvious to you, but for me it is going to change everything. 

I am remarkably privileged to work for Eyes Wide Open Life and be a part of the brilliant EWO Collective. I used to think that being surrounded by strong-willed, tenacious women would overwhelm me and squash my voice and personality, so I avoided these women in both my personal and work lives. Boy, was I wrong! I am surrounded by some of the most strong-willed, smart, tenacious, GENIUS women in both aspects of my life and I am thriving! 
These women truly know how to embrace their feminine and have introduced me to a type of sisterhood I thought only existed within the relationship I have with my best friends and actual sister, and I am eternally grateful for it. They nurture and incubate my strengths and voice, and don't blame me, judge, or berate me because of my weaknesses, and I strive to emulate them and study their practices and ideas. They inspire me so whole-heartedly and I have, once again, shed a skin that has become too heavy and worn. 
Because of this inspiration, my lifestyle has changed for the better. I am more outspoken and upfront with what I want and I understand now what my path is and that it can change... and to embrace that change and where it may take me. I do yoga every morning I can with my amazing cousin and her love (check out their FREE yoga program here) and I have more clarity now than I feel I ever have. Sweet, sweet clarity. 

I was watching a webinar that featured some of the on-fire business priestesses I work with at Eyes Wife Open Life: Amrita Khalsa, Kiva Leatherman, and Anne Perry (watch it here - you'll be more than glad you did). They were talking about time management and stopping the overwhelm, and one key idea really stuck out and resonated with me: it's about taking time for yourself, too! 
This seemingly simple idea is, of course, easier said than done, but it is possible and it is REWARDING! Giving yourself some freedom and taking the time to focus on yourself gives you breathing room and energy to get to work when the time comes. 

So now, I'm changing again. I'm shedding the old, tired, worn out skin that was saturated with overwhelm because of mismanaged time and not enough inner peace and dialogue. 
I'm not saying, "I can't do it" anymore; I'm replacing it with "I'm going to get it done" and I'm confident that I will do it. 

Can't wait to see what my next shower brainstorming sesh brings me! Tell me how you make the most of your time in the comments below and what you do to relax.